The Long and The Short Of It

Episode 118 - 2020 Aha Moments

Transcript:

Jen: Peter Shepherd. Hello.

Pete: Jennifer Waldman. Hello, hello, hello.

Jen: We are nearing the end of 2020, and this seems like the perfect opportunity to look back on the decade that was 2020 and ask ourselves, "What did we learn? What are our aha moments?"

Pete: What didn't we learn? What didn't we learn? This should be fun to try and keep within a twenty-minute constraint. This is The Long and The Short Of It.

Jen: Before we dig in, Pete, I feel like we have to come clean with the listeners about something. We had intended to record this episode a couple weeks ago.

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: And we could not limit it to just a few aha moments. So what we did was look at our calendars over the last year to see if that could help us, and it's taken us three weeks to look at our calendars to extract just a couple short aha moments.

Pete: Well, what happened is we both pulled up our January calendar on the call and we were both like, "Oh my god, what world is this?" And then we had such shock and trauma that we had to close the calendar, and it took us two weeks to recover.

Jen: Oh my gosh. Maybe the best thing to do is just ping-pong back and forth. You share an aha, I share an aha...

Pete: We'll see how many we can get through. Okay, do you want me to go first?

Jen: Yes.

Pete: Alright. So, I have...the first one that came to mind, I think did so because I might have mentioned it in an episode at some point in the last few weeks, which was the aha moment that showing up is enough.

Jen: Mmm.

Pete: So I shared, I think, the story at some point, that the start of the pandemic when no one really knew what was happening and everyone started to create, you know, this Zoom call over here, and this meeting over here, and, "Let's get coaches together here. And let's talk about how we could support other communities over here." And basically, I enrolled and volunteered and started to lead so many calls that when I, like we were sharing, when I went back and looked at my calendar, I was like, "Oh my god. That is a lot." And I had this moment on one of my calls where I was saying, "I don't think I'm doing enough. I don't think I'm being enough. I'm not sure I'm helping in any way. What can I do? What more can I do?" And my friend Mark said to me, "Pete, what if showing up is enough?" And it was just like this profound statement. And it was just one of those moments where I really needed to hear that. Because what was not cool was the flip-side of being on all these Zoom calls, which was lying facedown on my rug out of sheer exhaustion at the end of the day, trying to give my brain a second to just compute after, I don't know, I think I was averaging like ten or eleven Zoom calls a day. And the result of that, like I said, was lying face down on a rug. So lying face down on a rug, not so cool. Showing up is enough. And not only is it enough, but it's kind of all we can do. I think it's the only thing really we have that's within our control, one of the only things we have that's within our control. And so if we can focus on showing up with the posture that we want to bring, then that is more than enough.

Jen: Mmm. I love that.

Pete: What about you?

Jen: Okay, I'm trying to figure out which one of these should go first. So, okay, here's my first one. You won't know what you're actually working on until you find out what you're actually working on.

Pete: Say more, say more.

Jen: Oh, well, just this whole experience of this year. I thought I was working on something specific. And I'm really glad I was working on the thing that I thought I was working on because it always turned into something bigger, more important, more impactful than I could have thought of. So like, at the beginning of the year, I thought I was launching my first online class in January. But it turns out what I was actually working on was all of the pre-work to launch an online studio that I didn't know I was going to launch in June. I thought I was working on helping build a very small, quiet sponsorship program for the studio. What I was actually working on was building a huge sponsorship program, which now has all sorts of leadership committees attached to it, and projects. And I had no idea that's what I was working on until I found out what I was working on. And I think maybe like the real aha moment is: Right now, I'm telling you that I think I know what I'm working on. But I don't know.

Pete: Yeah. In a year's time, you'll be like, "Wow."

Jen: Right?

Pete: Ooh, I love that one. Okay. So I have another one that's particularly relevant for those of us that are in Melbourne, but I think very relevant for everybody. And I say particularly relevant for those of us that were in Melbourne, because we had a thirteen-week like hard lockdown. Where at its worst, we were allowed to leave the house for an hour a day to exercise, basically. So it was like, you know, you're spending a lot of time in your house, a lot of time in lockdown. And I just got thinking about the aha moment that came out of that was: The immediate reality that we have versus the suggested reality that we have. And I think this ties into social media. And there's a brilliant, brilliant documentary on Netflix called The Social Dilemma. And I think this ties into news. And I think this ties into the stories we tell ourselves, and the stories other people tell ourselves, and all of these things. Basically what was happening was on any given day, I could read the list of restrictions (which were long and many) that were imposed on us as Melbournians. And I could watch the news, or go on Facebook, or go on Instagram, or whatever I wanted to do. And the suggested reality was, "You should be absolutely miserable right now. You are living in horrendous lockdown. You're only allowed to leave the house for an hour." Like basically, "You have no right to be happy," was potentially the story you could tell yourself. And then my immediate reality, that...it was sort of this weird like juxtaposition, or this weird almost whiplash I would experience each day. Because each day, like we talked about in the swimming episode, I would go for a swim in the morning. So I would use my one hour to go out, maybe have a little run and then a swim. I would get home and make myself a nice coffee. I would do some really interesting work with you. So, I'm very lucky in that respect that I didn't have my work impacted. And then I was allowed to have my partner, Tracy, over or go to her house. And so, like I would have these days where I'm like, "Oh, that's a really good day. And I've got a lot of joy, and I've got a lot of things to be grateful for. And I can still read a book, and I can still drink my coffee, and I can still talk to Jen." And so my immediate reality was one that it was really quite good, and quite joyful, and I had a lot to be grateful for. But my suggested reality was like, "You should not be happy. Everything sucks. We are in lockdown." And so it was, I don't know, this weird whiplash, like I mentioned. And I think the aha moment is that it's possible to experience gratitude, joy, happiness, fulfillment, all of those things, even in the midst of a global pandemic.

Jen: Mmm. Yes, I love that. Okay, here's my second one. "Shut up, Jen. It's possible."

Pete: Is that a quote from me? Or...?

Jen: No, it's a quote from Jen, to Jen.

Pete: Jen, to Jen. Got it.

Jen: Like, this is something I've just had to get really good at saying to myself, because there has been so much uncharted territory to have to chart. And the first impulse when you're stepping into territory that's completely brand new is like, "That thing is not possible." Like, "The thing that I'm thinking of, there's no way." And so I've had to learn from experience, because I've proven this to be true to myself, to just say, "Shut up, Jen. It's possible." And then, I have to sort of deal with the possibility. One of our "How's" at the studio, which I just am so obsessed with, is, "Reality check everything. Possibility check everything."

Pete: Ooh.

Jen: And that's my personal version of that.

Pete: Mmm. "Shut up, Jen. It's possible."

Jen: I actually posted an Instagram post about this...I don't even know when, because time. What is time? But back in December, so one year ago, I was interviewed on Lili Torre's podcast, The Dreaded Question, and I said, and I quote, "I will never teach acting classes online." "Shut up, Jen. It's possible. Just challenge the assumptions." Challenge the assumptions.

Pete: Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Ah, I love that so much. Okay. My third (keep the ping-pong going) is: Calm is a decision.

Jen: Mmm.

Pete: Which I think is my version of...I've always loved Debbie Millman's famous line, "Busy is a decision." Busy is a choice. That, we choose to put ourselves in a situation to make ourselves busy, and to take ownership of that. And I think I've been thinking a lot about the inverse of that, which is calm is also a decision. And that can mean, like I mentioned in the 100 swims episode, adding more calm to the way you do exercise. That could mean adding more calm to the way you structure your day. So, something I've done a lot less of this year is 5:30am/6am Zoom calls after, like I mentioned, at the start of the year, when I was committing to so many things that I would end up literally facedown on my rug just trying to not get any inputs for a second, except for the smell of my rug.

Jen: I hope you have a really big rug.

Pete: I mean, it was a nice rug. It's a good rug, there's no question. But recognizing A., that was a decision. And B., that was not conducive to me being productive, happy, fulfilled, all of those things. I have been thinking a lot about the fact that calm is a decision, or the result of decisions that you get to make. So structuring my day, structuring my weekend, structuring my workouts, even, in a way that optimizes for calm is something I've been thinking a lot about. And it's a brilliant book that actually inspired a lot of this, which is called It Doesn't Have To Be Crazy At Work. (I'll put it in the Box O' Goodies.) And the company in question, Base Camp, talks about them creating a culture of calm. That's their M.O. "We want our culture to be one of calm." Which kind of is what inspired that word. So, thinking a lot about that. How do I optimize and create calm in my life? And that is a decision. Hmm.

Jen: I love that. I feel like after everything you share, I'm like, "Mmm, I love that."

Pete: I know, I did the same thing for you.

Jen: Okay, here's my third one. This one was really important to me. Innovation breeds community.

Pete: Mmm. Innovation breeds community.

Jen: Yeah. I'm recognizing...or at least, innovation breeds my community. I'm recognizing that one of the things my community comes together around is building the future together. And so when we are innovating, like moving the whole studio online, you know, my fear was "Nobody will come." Like, "This is going to be such a disaster." Instead, the community came together and was like, "What is this new thing? Let's build it together."

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: I would not have expected that. And the learning from it is just so huge. That, I know now that if I'm doing things the way I've always been doing them, it is a disservice to my community. Because at least the community I'm a part of thrives on innovation and future-focused thinking. So, that was a big learning. Innovation breeds community.

Pete: I love that. We have time for some more, but I have some bonus ones. And we have time. Should we throw in some bonus ones? Have you got any more?

Jen: I actually have one more that I saved to the end, because of that old saying, "Save the best for last."

Pete: Mmm. Mmm. So one of my bonus ones is: I didn't know it was possible (this was an aha moment) that a book can make you laugh so hard that you cry and have to put the book down because you just can't concentrate, because you're laughing so much. That was a new experience for me. And the book was, Is This Anything by Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld's book. And my goodness, I have literally never laughed so hard from a book in my life. So, that was a new experience for me. That was an aha moment.

Jen: You read the hard-copy, or did you listen to the audio?

Pete: I read the hard-copy, and I've since learned that the audio is Jerry reading it. And so that is next on my list, is I'm going to listen to him talk about it as well.

Jen: Wow. Okay, now I want to check that out because I love a good belly laugh. Alright. Like I said, I saved my best for last.

Pete: Here we go.

Jen: So especially to our creatives and artists in our listenership, this one is for you. All skills are transferable. All skills are transferable. So a big aha moment of this year, I've always st...what's the past tense of strive? Striven? Strove?

Pete: Strove?

Jen: I am serious, I have to look it up. [types] I'm in the dictionary right now, Pete, and it says, "The past tense of strive is strove, or strived, or striven."

Pete: "Striven." It sounds...I mean, this is another aha moment for me. That's a...like, what?

Jen: What the heck. Okay. Well, I have always strove/strived/striven to help artists to see that their art can be used in other industries, and in different ways. But I don't think I had drilled down quite as deeply into specific skill sets until the global pandemic. And one of the things that I've learned is that not only are all skill sets transferable, but our immediate impulse is to associate transferable with the entire circumstance being transferable. And so what we have to do is be open to the circumstance being different, but the skill being transferable. So like, to give you an example, I was just talking to someone about this yesterday who is evolving into a position as a video editor. And she was really questioning like, "What do I know about video editing? Like, why would they pick me?" And so we got into this conversation about, "Well, what have you been training your whole life to do?" And it was to be a storyteller. "So, what makes your video editing special is your storytelling. It's not just that you know how to use the software, and how to make a cut. It's that you know how to make a cut that tells a story. And that skill of telling a story on a stage in front of an audience is transferring into telling a story to an audience but inside a box and with pre-recorded content that you have cut together." So I mean, it probably is a whole episode in and of itself, but it's potentially the most powerful aha moment of 2020. All skills are transferable.

Pete: Yes, yes, yes. It reminds me of the real skills (human skills) versus hard skills episode, I think we did at one point, but we should do a 2.0. Okay, my final bonus one. I love that we threw in striven as a bonus. But my final bonus one is a bit of a personal one, which is, "That friend of yours, Pete, by the name of Tracy, she would make an even better girlfriend/partner." And as she would put it, we've become a COVID couple. And it's been one of the great joys of 2020 for me. So that aha moment, which happened at the start of the year, has proven to be one of the highlights for me of 2020. Being a #COVIDCouple.

Jen: Wow. Well, the decade 2020 did teach us a lot. And I'm excited for us to take these learnings into the new year and figure out how we can grow, and evolve, and continue to make progress towards the things we believe in.

Pete: And that is The Long and The Short Of It.