The Long and The Short Of It

Episode 131 - Holding Patterns

Transcript:

Pete: Well, hello, Jennifer.

Jen: Well, hello, Peter.

Pete: So I recently shipped a couple of big projects, finished a couple of other projects, and I find myself in this weird state that I've been trying to identify. And then just before we hopped on this call, I identified it as a holding pattern. I think I'm feeling the feels of being in a holding pattern. And I think I need you to help me understand what it means, what to do, why they exist. Are they good? All of those things.

Jen: This is such a perfectly timed conversation because literally earlier today on my team huddle, we were talking about the holding pattern that we are in. So, thank you for the perfect timing. This is The Long and The Short Of It.

Pete: All these years later, we're still so aligned.

Jen: It's true, it's true.

Pete: So I guess context, maybe? I'll set some context, and then you can share some of the context from your conversation. I mean, I kind of teed it up already. But basically, I, for the last, ooh, I want to say probably five weeks total but in particular the last two weeks, have been really specifically focused on getting a few things done. These projects that are something that I've been working on, and I've shipped to a decision-maker to decide what to do with the projects. Which would be really exciting. There would be opportunities and projects that I would love to throw myself headfirst into. And they require a level of collaboration, and a decision from certain people in order to essentially greenlight some of these projects. And so, I find myself in this strange place of like, "Oh, I did my part." And I spent so much time, and effort, and energy, and got to a place where I'm really quite proud of. And then, there's like this strange just kind of nothingness that happens after.

Jen: Yep, yep.

Pete: It's so odd. It's so odd. So, I don't know what to do.

Jen: Oh my gosh, I feel this so hard. I feel this so hard. So, I will share a little bit of my own context here too. But first, I just want to like dig in to what a beautiful metaphor a holding pattern is. As a person who lives by three major airports, I've been in a lot of holding patterns. And the thing that's particularly frustrating about a holding pattern is that, it's not that you're not at your destination. It's not like you're traveling there. It's like, you have arrived, and you're just circling around and around and around, waiting for someone to tell you if you can land. And if you can land, like where you're actually going to be, like what runway. So there's something like extra frustrating about being in a holding pattern, because you have already arrived where you need to be. It's so excruciating.

Pete: Yeah, there's like a permission or direction that's required. And I think that the thing about it is, it's not like we don't know how to land the plane. Like, I've arrived at the destination. I know how to land this plane. Would someone just tell me which runway to land on please?

Jen: Yes. Yes, that's right. Okay, so a little context from my end. Surprise, surprise, this is a theater industry context. So at my studio, we are looking to make decisions about the fall. Like, what are we going to be doing in the fall? We know that there's going to be some movement happening within our industry to get shows re-rehearsed, maybe/maybe not re-cast (nobody knows), and then back up and running. And so, there are missing pieces of information that would ultimately determine which runway we land on. And so basically, what we are having to do in our holding pattern is simultaneously build two totally different things, knowing that the second we get clearance to land on one of these runways, the other runway becomes completely irrelevant. All of the work becomes sunk costs. And then, the runway that we're going to land on becomes our everything. All of our resources will be poured into that. But right now, we literally don't have access to the information that we need from (I'm putting this in quotes) "leadership" in order to make smart decisions in service of our community. So, we're in this holding pattern and it is excruciating.

Pete: What's interesting...I just sort of was thinking about this as you were sharing. I find this interesting from the perspective of a entrepreneur/freelancer/someone who works for themselves. I wonder if there's folks out there that tell themselves a story that this would come up less, that this is part of the appeal of working for yourself or being an entrepreneur. Because certainly within a company, you're kind of always in a state of waiting for a manager, a leader, a company, a CEO to make a decision or pick a runway. And for the most part, I feel like you and I, as examples, are able to choose a little bit the runway we are seeking to land on. And so it becomes particularly curious, and interesting, and confusing when you're like, "Wait, I don't get to decide the runway? I have to wait for someone to tell me which runway and then I'm ready to go?" Like there's this, I don't know, there's some interesting, interesting pattern there that I've just realized.

Jen: Yeah, that's kind of funny. I think the way I deal with this is like...I'm calling myself out right now. Maybe I'm doing too much work while I'm up in the air. Maybe I should just be like packing my backpack and waiting for the plane to land. But I'm simultaneously building futures for all of the potential runways so that the second we land, I'm like, "I am ready." But I also realize that I kind of drive myself crazy while I do this. But I do think it is, um, it's helpful in one respect, in that it very much leans into one of my favorite sayings, "Cross that bridge before you come to it." So, I don't particularly like surprises that didn't have to be surprises. So I know, in this particular instance, the information that we're going to get, because it's a "yes" or "no" piece of information that we're waiting for. It's either a "yes", in which case Runway A, or it's a "no", in which case Runway B. But I don't want to wait to get that information and then have to play catch up. So like, in your instance, you've shipped this work. Someone has to decide, "Yes, we want to do this with you," or, "No, we don't." Because you shipped the work (and I'm guessing, I'm not totally sure what the work is)...but if you're shipping it and someone else has to choose, there's some sort of a like, "This is what the work would look like," attached to that. In which case, Runway A is already built. So I guess the question is, "Are you avoiding Runway B?" Or, "Is it good to not look at Runway B?" "Should you be building your Runway B option?" I'm curious.

Pete: Yeah. Well, and I think this falls into the category of: what do you do in the holding pattern? It's funny, I hear you say, "What are the other runways?" And actually, what I was thinking was, "Do I need to set another plane in takeoff? Am I back somewhere else building another plane to take off? Am I acknowledging that particular project is in a holding pattern, and so it's like, 'Okay, cool. So what other plane am I going to pilot into perhaps another holding pattern?'" Or, to your point, do you look at: what are the options within that circling airplane in our metaphor, the holding pattern? I hadn't thought about that.

Jen: Oh my gosh, this airplane metaphor is a runaway train.

Pete: Oh my god, no.

Jen: Ha-ha-ha. You know I enjoy mixed metaphor. So, huh, I think that's a really interesting question. Because, okay, now I'm switching my role from pilot to air traffic controller. You can have multiple planes in the air, so long as they each have a direction and a destination. And I kind of like the idea that while your first plane is circling, you're preparing the next one for takeoff. Or maybe it's already in the air, going to a different airport.

Pete: Mmm. I find that helpful to think about, because the thing I always come back to is: what are the things that are within my control? I think I've mentioned this a dozen times on our podcast, it's like an old stoic "dichotomy of control", they call it. And it's basically, you could split everything in life into things you can control and things you can't control. And it doesn't serve us to worry about, think about, spend energy on the things that are way outside our control, like an external party making a decision, or potential collaborator having to go through something. You can't control their ability to do that. You can do your best to set them up for success to make the decision that you hope they'll make, but you can't control the decision. So I'm always coming back to this idea of, "Okay, so what can I control?" In a holding pattern, I've got the plane to the point where it is arrived, to your point. I know I can land it. So, that's the thing that's been within my control. So, what can I do now? I guess I can go back to building another plane, and like taking that one off, and then seeing what happens with that one. So, that's how I've always thought of it. But I think that you could argue all sorts of cases for this. Because then there's the whole idea of not working on too many projects at once because you, you know, burn yourself out, or you might forget about one and one of the planes will drop out of the sky because you forgot about it. Like there's not, I guess, a right answer, is what I'm trying to say. I'm still trying to figure this out.

Jen: Oh my gosh. Just to add more layers to this airplane metaphor...

Pete: Please.

Jen: I just realized that there are different...okay, just roll with me here, folks. There are different kinds of planes. There are private planes, and then there are commercial airliners. And the reason this is interesting or useful is because I am currently, my holding pattern, I have a commercial airliner. And I have passengers onboard, and I have promised them that we're landing at this airport. And this airport is the theater industry, your acting career, your professional pursuits as an artist. And so if the air traffic controller says, "You are on Runway B," and I don't particularly like Runway B, I still am going to land the plane on Runway B because it's at the destination that I promised all these passengers. I'm not going to be like, "You know what? We're going to Cairo, instead. We're exiting and going to a totally different airport, because I don't like the runway." Whereas there are times where I'm flying solo, and I'm trying to land as a freelancer. Let's say, I've pitched an idea to a company. I've come in, I'm circling their airport, and they go, you know, "Runway A is a yes. And runway B is a no." And they give me Runway B, and then I'm like, "You know what? I'm actually going to go fly to Cairo, because they might need what I have over there." So it depends on how full the plane is, whether or not you actually can divert or change your flight plan.

Pete: Mmm.

Jen: Wow, we're really off the rails with this airplane metaphor.

Pete: I don't even know where to go from here.

Jen: You know why you don't know where to go? Because you're in a holding pattern.

Pete: Mmm.

Jen: This all reminds me of an episode we did once upon a time, actually two episodes we did. One is called Practicing Patience...

Pete: Oh, yeah.

Jen: ...which is the difference between practicing patience and waiting. That there is a lack of agency with the idea of waiting, and there's a sense of agency with the concept of practicing patience. And the other one was also a transportation metaphor, I think it was called Shipping, or Ships. And we talked about docks, and ships, and waiting for you to ship to come in. In that particular episode, as well, the major theme was personal agency. And so, I'm just wondering if that's a thread that we're pulling here. Is like, how do you decide that you are okay with being in the holding pattern? Or that part of the process is this period of time where other decision-makers have to assess what is right for them, or that information comes to you when it is ready to come to you? Like, how do you find a sense of being okay with that?

Pete: I feel like I got kicked in the gut in a really nice way when you said that.

Jen: You're welcome.

Pete: ...I don't know if in a nice way. Can you get kicked in the gut in a nice way? I got kicked in the gut.

Jen: Just want to be clear that me kicking you in the gut would mean kicking over my head. Grand Battement, baby.

Pete: Some serious kicking skills. No, but I feel that on such a visceral level. Because you're so right, there is this undeniable tension that I experience (I can't speak for everyone, but I experience) when you go from so fired up, so inspired, pulling things in all sorts of directions, jumping on whiteboards, you know, like so immersed in the experience of building a plane, getting it off the ground, flying to the destination for three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, whatever (or in your case, you know, years), and then you got it to the destination. And being okay with all of that energy, that sprinting, that inspiration, that motivation, and the work just pausing for a second. And I mean, I feel like this is well beyond the scope of our metaphor in terms of application. That, can we be comfortable as individuals, as leaders, as freelancers, as entrepreneurs, whoever you are, with stillness, with a change in pace, with a slightly less urgent to-do list, with a slightly less long to-do list? And I think ultimately what I'm grappling with is the tension of sitting in stillness.

Jen: I just had a moment of wisdom fall upon me, Pete.

Pete: Please. Hit me.

Jen: Every plane that ever took off came down from the sky. There has never been a plane that has perpetually and indefinitely stayed aloft. And so, maybe there's a little bit of comfort in knowing that eventually you will get out of the holding pattern and the plane will land.

Pete: And that is The Long and The Short Of It.