The Long and The Short Of It

Episode 166 - In Plain Sight

Transcript:

Pete: Hey, Jen.

Jen: Hello, Peter.

Pete: I'm coming at you today and coming at our listeners today with something from left field that I'm hoping you can-

Jen: Okay...

Pete: -I'm hoping you can help me untangle and find some meaning in it. And it starts off by me sharing with you and the listeners, I have injured my foot.

Jen: Oh, sorry to hear that.

Pete: Thank you. It's a bit of a bummer. And I've been for the longest time (or it feels like the longest time, about six months) trying to solve for this problem, and I think I found a solution that was hiding in plain sight. And it feels like a metaphor for a lot of things, so maybe you could help me untangle this

Jen: Pete's foot. This is The Long and The Short Of It.

Pete: I love that that was your takeaway. I was hoping the takeaway was, "Things that are hiding in plain sight," which I'm hoping is the theme of the episode. Or it could be a whole episode on Pete's foot, sure...oh, dear. Okay, so like I mentioned, about...I think it's been about six months, it feels like, I've had this like injured foot, my right foot. And I've had a lot of trouble figuring out what is wrong with it. I thought it was a standing desk, that I'd stand up for too long. I thought it was because I've been wearing bare feet around the house. And then I thought it was maybe because I put shoes on, I was wearing shoes around the house. And I was like, "What the hell is it?" I've seen doctors, I've seen physios, I've had X-rays: I have a vague strategy that I was sort of chipping away at, but I wasn't convinced was working. And then three days ago, I went to a shoe store for the first time in, I mean, years, literally years. I've always just bought shoes online. And I was like looking at shoes. I need to get some new runners. I thought, "This might help. I'll get some new comfy runners." And the salesperson said, "Well, why don't we measure your feet?" And I was like, "I don't think we need to measure my feet. I'm a size 12. I've always been a size 12." And he measured my foot...my feet.

Jen: Oh my gosh.

Pete: And he was like, "Okay, so your right foot's a 12.5 and your left foot's a 12, so we should get you in a 13. And I was like, "Oh, no, no, no, I'm a size 12. Like, all my shoes are a size 12." And he's like, "Yeah, yeah. So your right foot's a 12.5 and your left foot's a 12, so we should put you in a 13."

Jen: Whoa.

Pete: And my right foot has been the foot that is injured. So it turns out that hiding in plain sight, the solution to the problem that I had was actually: I'm wearing the wrong size shoes.

Jen: Wow. Wow, wow. Okay, so first of all, I'm so glad you got that sorted. And now you can begin the run to recovery. There's an element of this story that I feel like I have to point out, which is there is no way you would have gotten to this without some external input from someone with expertise that you did not possess.

Pete: Absolutely. I knew I could count on you for finding the thread for us to pull. Yes, that is 100% right. And external expertise helped solve this problem, external expertise I paid for. Like I actually, I caught myself getting annoyed at what I paid for the shoes in store. And I like had in my head, I'm like, "I'm sure I can get these cheaper online." And then I had to remind myself, "But the thing I wouldn't have got online is the solution to the fact that I'm getting the wrong size shoe." So, paying for expertise. Gosh, it sounds so obvious. Pete, listen to this.

Jen: Yes.

Pete: Paying for expertise is so valuable.

Jen: Oh my gosh. And yeah, so the hidden in plain sight part, I kind of feel like we have to go back and tug that into this conversation.

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: Because it was hidden in plain sight, but you didn't know that it was in plain sight. And because of the way our culture functions, that we're always looking for the cheaper, faster solution...

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: ...it's making me wonder, like, "How many things might we be missing, hidden in plain sight?" Essentially, because we value convenience over quality.

Pete: Yeah. Wow, convenience over quality. And I think, you know, we (or me, in this example), we can possibly get caught up in a bunch of assumed knowledge, or knowledge that we think we have which we haven't tested for a long time. So I dismissed the fact that I needed to measure my foot because I was like, "I know what size I am. I'm a size 12. I've always been a size 12. Don't try and tell me otherwise." And like, that response...if you think about an organization and, "The way we've always done things around here." "We're not going to challenge the technology that we bring to our company because we've always used this technology." Or if you're thinking about the way that you pitch a proposal to a potential client, and you just keep pitching the same way you've always pitched because, "That's how we pitch." What I think this is sort of reminding me of is like first principles thinking. Which is, can you go back to the very, very, very, very, very first principles of what this root issue might be, and start to look at possible solutions as if you knew absolutely nothing about my size, about feet, about problems that might cause feet issues? And so, I imagine if you were able to do that...this is such a ridiculous metaphor, but I think it's important. If you had have gone right all the way back, it's such an obvious thing, is like, "Okay, let's start by measuring the size of your foot."

Jen: Right. Right.

Pete: And so, yes, to your point, where else is that tripping us up? (No pun intended.) But like, I'm sure there are examples of this in all aspects of our lives.

Jen: Okay, so right now we're talking about your right foot. But I have another example from literally today. I had my first meeting with...we hired (we, meaning the studio) hired a fellow from the Harriet Tubman Effect Institute to come into the studio and do some diversity, equity, inclusion, belonging work with us. And I had my first meeting with her today, and the number of blind spots that were illuminated in an hour's time...that I guess I have been looking for for years. But of course, I couldn't find it. Because I'm me, I know me too well. I know the way I think. I know the way I operate. Kind of like, "I know my feet are a size 12." To have someone be able to reflect back to you, "Have you considered this? Perhaps we can look at this." The amount of aha moments in one hour was mind-blowing.

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: But in that case, that costs money too.

Pete: Right. I feel like it's important and funny that we call ourselves out for our blind spots in this area, because we are often those people for others.

Jen: Right.

Pete: As a coach, as a leadership or an executive coach, or in your world as a coach, we are helping folks see their blind spots so that they can move forward, or help solve problems, or have aha moments. And it's just so funny that often I forget that myself, and need to remind myself through ridiculous stories like this one. I think what it comes down to, actually...I've written a blog post once before, called Humility is a superpower. And I'll pop it in the Box O' Goodies, but the summary is kind of in the title. Which is, it's so important for a leader, or a changemaker, for anyone listening to this podcast, I think, to practice humility, which is like the reminder that you don't know everything about everything, and that's okay. And so, seek external inputs, get feedback from other people, talk to experts in your field or in their field. Because as one person with your assumed knowledge, you're going to have so many blind spots. So many.

Jen: Yes. Okay, side note, for those of you listeners who might be newer to the pod...

Pete: Welcome.

Jen: ...Pete just said, "Box O' Goodies." And you might be wondering, "What is that?" Well, let me tell you. It's hiding in plain sight on our website, it's actually a weekly email we send out with some juicy resources. You can go to thelongandtheshortpodcast.com to sign up for it. And every episode, we say something...well, it's usually Pete who says, "And I'll drop it in the Box O' Goodies," and then I growl at him because he thought of it before I did. But it seems like a good moment to call out that if you want it, it's hiding in plain sight on our website.

Pete: It's funny you mention that. I was talking to a listener a few weeks ago, Mario, a friend of mine, who said, "What's this Box O' Goodies you keep talking about in the episodes?" He actually asked me that question, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we should remind people." So, thank you for that.

Jen: Yes, that's a blind spot we have, is forgetting to tell people what the hell we're actually talking about.

Pete: Right. And in that example, he (Mario) is an expert in the field of being a listener to our podcast. We are not. We are not experts at being listeners. Like, we have so much baggage and stories and assumed knowledge that we have trouble thinking in first principles.

Jen: So, here's a noodle for us to ponder. Does it take pain, like the inability to walk without experiencing pain, to get you to the point where you're ready to receive outside feedback? In other words, how might we expedite this process? How might we be able to more quickly ascertain that we are missing some piece of information and no amount of will is going to suddenly unearth it? That action must be taken in order to get the information.

Pete: Oof, I mean, I feel like that is 100% the right question to be asking. Like I'm reminded of those that might share that they have a near-death experience and then from that moment onwards, they're like, "Oh my god, I'll never take for granted the time I spend with my friends because I almost had that taken away from me." And I think often the philosophical question becomes like, "Do I need to have that near-death experience for me to remind myself of that?" And I think that's why things like a gratitude practice, that's kind of where they're born out of. Which is, you know, being grateful for the things that you have without the need to have pain in order to remember them. So I feel like on a philosophical level, I want to say one of the answers might be a gratitude practice. But I don't think that would have helped me my foot.

Jen: "I'm grateful for my size 12 shoes."

Pete: So, you're right. There's like...I don't know what the answer is, we're thinking out loud. There's something else, whether it's a question or a coach or a prompt for ourselves. How might we trigger that question of like, "What am I missing here," or, "What might I be missing," or, "Where might I be experiencing tension," before we're actually experiencing the pain. Is there tension before there's pain, maybe, and that's the point to dig in and ask questions? I don't know.

Jen: Yeah. You know, it's making me think of, you and I right now are participating in this...well, it started as a four-week but it's turned into a six-week sprint with a bunch of other folks who are operating in industries that are separate from our industry. And we meet once a week, and we share what we're working on and some of the challenges that we're facing, and then they ask great questions and provide some great prompts. And one of the commonly asked questions is, "Have you thought about...fill-in-the-blank?"

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: And maybe I wouldn't say 100% of the time, but like 99% of the time, my answer to that is, "No, I haven't thought about that." And then, I get to think about it. So that was my long-winded way of saying, a practice of engaging with other people around the things you're working on so that they can prompt some useful questions like, "Have you thought about x," as opposed to waiting until the crisis moment when you can't walk because your foot hurts so badly that you have to go get an intervention and the person's like, "Have you thought about the size of your shoes?" But instead, to have a practice of sharing whatever the challenges are with a trusted group of people. That's what's coming up for me. And it's making me really want to say in the spirit of gratitude, thank you to our sprint friends who've been so amazing.

Pete: So, so, so helpful. Yeah, I love that example of like a community of practice. I've heard people refer to it as a community of folks who are willing to practice the skill of pointing out blind spots to one another, basically.

Jen: Yes.

Pete: Which again, requires humility to sign up for something like that. Because you know you're going to get, as we have, you're going to get your ass handed to you.

Jen: Every single week, my ass is in my hands.

Pete: Yeah. The other thing that came up for me as you were sharing, so have you thought about...like that way of framing a question, I think, is so powerful. And I'm like noodling on whether you can do that yourself through, I don't know, like a prompt or a reminder or like a sticky note on your screen, like, "What haven't you thought about," or, "Have you thought about ...?" Just having that as a prompt somewhere in your life, maybe as a way to remind yourself to get another opinion. I mean, I actually think this ties into empathy, right? It's like the reminder that not everybody sees things through the lens that you see them. In fact, nobody sees things through the lens that you see them. Like, literally nobody. So that is a reminder and a reason to get feedback and input and ideas from other people, or pretend like you're someone else in order to get those ideas and insights, perhaps, to move you forward, to help you avoid pain, and those kinds of things.

Jen: Okay, so here's a potential question to put in the back pocket that you could ask yourself...and maybe it's a little on the nose. "Have you thought about getting a second opinion?"

Pete: Right, right, right. Yes. Yes.

Jen: "Have you thought about asking for someone's feedback?"

Pete: Amazing. I love that. I feel like I'm going to butcher and paraphrase this anecdote, and I'm really, really annoyed because I can't think of where it came from. But I'll do my best to find it and pop it in the Box O' Goodies. It was a podcast I was listening to recently, and this guest was sharing a story of how she would pull up to the traffic lights and stop, and her child would say to her when the light was red, "Now you can go, mum."

Jen: Oh, I heard it.

Pete: Oh, you heard this?

Jen: I heard it.

Pete: Yeah, "Now you can go, mum. Now you can go, mum". And she was like, "Oh, it's so weird. Maybe my kid's colorblind, can't tell the difference between red and green, and doesn't know that green means, 'Go,' and red means, 'Stop.'" Because the kid was saying the opposite of what she was seeing, which was red is, "Stop," and green is, "Go," for those listeners that don't realize. And what actually ended up happening, what she eventually realized was the kid was actually looking at the other direction, so looking at the lights of the people coming across the traffic as opposed to going in the same direction as her. So when it went green for her driving the car, it was red for the people going across, and so the kid would say, "Red means go," or something like that. And it was like this whole mind-blowing moment where she realized, "Not everyone is seeing the world in the same way as I am."

Jen: Yes, that was Sheila Heen on Tim Ferriss' podcast, which I will drop the Box O' Goodies.

Pete: You deserve it. You get that one. Thank you, Sheila Heen. Oh, I love that story.

Jen: She's brilliant. Okay, Pete. So I think I have caught what you have thrown, which is, in a nutshell, don't wait six months to go to a shoe store if your foot hurts so bad and your right shoe feels tight. Instead, ask yourself, "Have you considered getting a second opinion? And whose opinion might be the most valuable one in this moment?" Hence getting you to the shoe store earlier, getting you in a proper size 13, and allowing you to walk pain free.

Pete: It's almost like humility is a superpower, Jen. That is The Long and The Short Of It.