The Long and The Short Of It

Episode 323 - 13 Lessons

Transcript:

Pete: Hey, Jen.

Jen: Hey, Pete.

Pete: So once again, I've been inspired by you in the last couple of weeks.

Jen: Oh.

Pete: Which is something that basically happens to me once a week. And you may remember, listeners may remember, a few weeks ago, we had an episode called 10 Lessons, wherein you shared these ten lessons that you've been teaching various members of your community. And in it, we picked a couple and we dug into them. And so, I delivered a workshop last week, and rather than trying to reinvent the wheel and come up with this like crazy convoluted framework or system, I just went, "What about thirteen practical ways that you can be a better communicator?"

Jen: Love it.

Pete: I had two hundred people in the room, and it was a big organization in Australia. And it went down so well. So I wanted to just like read you the thirteen, and maybe we can unpack a few of them.

Jen: Love it. I am so here for thirteen ways you can become a better communicator. This is The Long and The Short Of It.

Pete: So for context, these are two hundred professionals working in a corporate in Australia. And I think you'll be able to help me translate this to other realms, to freelancers, to creatives, because I don't think it's unique to being in a corporate. I think it's, I mean, all day, every day, we're sort of essentially communicating with people.

Jen: Mmm-hmm.

Pete: Alright, so should I just like quickly read the thirteen?

Jen: Yeah. Just read them...and I am going to very awkwardly cover my mouth so that I don't accidentally interrupt you.

Pete: I mean, I should also say that for long-time listeners of this podcast (and for you, Jen), so many of these, you'll be like, "Oh, yeah, I know that one. I know that one." These are not groundbreaking things that I invented. These are things I've learned over the years from people like you.

Jen: Mmm. Okay, let's hear them.

Pete: Alright. Number One: Ask yourself, who's it for and what's it for? Number Two: Concise is nice. Number Three: Find your allies. Number Four: You are not a news reader.

Jen: Wait, I'm sorry, what is a news reader?

Pete: Someone who reads the news...?

Jen: Oh. Here we call them -

Pete: What do you call that, an anchor?

Jen: An anchor, yeah. Okay, translated.

Pete: You are not a news anchor.

Jen: Good, okay.

Pete: Number Five: Fix your um. Number Six: Be where your feet are. Number Seven: Slides are not teleprompters. Number Eight: Have a purple cow. Number Nine: Tell stories. Number Ten: Be like a comedian. Number Eleven: Don't be afraid of questions. Number Twelve: Leverage Gen AI. Number Thirteen: Don't take yourself so damn seriously. That's the thirteen.

Jen: I love it. Well, you know, Pete, this is going to be a pretty robust Box O' Goodies. Because I'm going to go through after this episode and find...I know that we have done an episode on, "Who's it for?". I know we've done an episode on what I think is, "Fix your um," or at least we've talked about it.

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: I feel like you've mentioned Jerry Seinfeld on many episodes of this podcast. We've done many episodes about questions. And we've definitely done an episode on Number Thirteen: Don't take yourself so damn seriously. So, that is going to be a robust Box O' Goodies.

Pete: It is.

Jen: Here is what I would like to hear you talk about when it comes to these incredible tips for how to be a better communicator.

Pete: Oh my god, alright. I feel nervous though, because so many of them are like things I've learned from you, so it feels like you already know so many of these. Anyway...

Jen: But I want our listeners to know, what do you mean, Pete, when you say, "Be where your feet are."

Pete: Okay. The framing of this I borrowed from someone that I heard speak at a conference a year or so ago, and I'm so sad that I don't remember their name. But the essence of, "Be where your feet are," is be present. Be where you are. So the way we were talking about this is, if you're giving a talk in-person and/or presenting virtually, and you have a screen in front of you like a laptop or you're looking over to the left because you've got two monitors, and you're presenting virtually. And you are, in your mind, somewhere else. Because you're in your script. You're trying to remember what to say. You're trying to think about the next thing that's about to happen. You're not actually where your feet are. Because your feet are (hopefully) in the room that you are meant to be presenting to, communicating to. So, "Be where your feet are," was sort of like a cute way of saying, "Don't be distracted, and stay present." And one of the things I referenced, there's this really brilliant video, that does the rounds on LinkedIn every like month, of Simon Sinek giving a talk. And he pulls out his phone, and he starts saying to everyone in the audience, "Do you feel like the most important people in the room, right now, while I've got my phone in my hand?" And then, everyone's like, "No." And he goes, "No. You probably think I'm waiting for a call. You probably think, 'What's he thinking, with his phone in his hand? What's going on there?' Like, there's a barrier between the audience and me, just because I have my phone in my hand."

Jen: Right.

Pete: And so, in my mind, that was a version of, "You're not where your feet are." You're like in two different places, with where your head is and where you actually, literally where your body is. So, "Be where your feet are," is essentially saying, "Be present when you're communicating."

Jen: I love this so much. And I teach a class called Audition Workshop, where I work with people not only on their audition material, but maybe more importantly, on how they are communicating inside an audition room. And for many of the folks in this class, we have to implement a rule, which is the, "No walking and talking," rule. Where, when they're walking into the room, if someone says, "How are you," the cue to self is, "Face the voice."

Pete: "Face the voice." Nice.

Jen: So literally, turn your feet to face the voice and answer the question, and do not proceed walking again until that conversation is over. So that's another version of, "Be where your feet are."

Pete: That's good. I like that. In fact, I actually mentioned you multiple times in this workshop. I think someone asked towards the end, "Which of these is one you struggle with the most," which I thought was such a great question.

Jen: Great question.

Pete: And I said something along the lines of, "I know I move around too much. And I've had my friend Jen give me that feedback." And when I presented on the TEDx stage, there's deliberately a red circle because you're not meant to leave it, which is a really great reminder. But sometimes, if I'm not thinking about it enough, I end up being the person who's walking to the other side of the stage while still talking. So I am guilty of breaking that rule, for sure.

Jen: Yeah. Okay, that is a good one. Okay, Pete, talk us through...I have such a shit-eating grin on my face right now, because I'm so delighted by Number Seven. First of all, the concept. And second, how you pronounce it. So, I'm going to pronounce it like you. "Slides are not teleprompters."

Pete: Well, how do you pronounce it?

Jen: We say "te-la", as opposed to "te-lee".

Pete: "Te-la", yeah. Aww. Is it endearing? Teleprompters?

Jen: Yes! It is so...

Pete: It almost sounds childish.

Jen: It's very sweet. "Slides are not teleprompters."

Pete: So one of my assertions with this, I feel like everyone has had the experience where you've seen someone presenting with an absurd amount of text on the screen, and they literally read all of the text that's on the screen.

Jen: It is maddening.

Pete: Absolutely maddening. I feel like this has gotten worse because of the move to remote work that happened as a result of the global pandemic that we all remember, because things that used to be Word docs or PDFs or reports have become like merged into slide decks. And so, what you see people do is put every single piece of information that they think they need to communicate on a slide. One: Because for them, it's easier to remember and deliver because they just have to read. Which I think is a crutch, and it's a lot easier for people. But two: It's because there's a fear of, "I need to be known to be saying and sharing all of the information there is to possibly know about this one thing." And so I, very deliberately when I gave this workshop, but in delivering a lot of my workshops in general, I don't have any slides at all. And it's an intentionally, hopefully provocative way of demonstrating: You don't need slides to remember what you have to say.

Jen: Right.

Pete: You don't need a teleprompter. This doubles into Number Four, which is around, "Don't be a news anchor, where you are reading straight off a script." So one of the pushbacks I get about me and my lack of slides is, "Yeah, well, we need to have slides, because what if there's a visual learner?" And the thing I always love to bring up, if I was to have a slide, I would bring up a slide that has seventeen thousand words on it (I'm exaggerating), five thousand words on it and go, "Do you think this benefits a visual learner? Absolutely not. That is a wall of text that benefits no one."

Jen: Right.

Pete: So please, please, please, please, please, if you're going to use slides (which I have nothing against), one idea per slide. It is not a teleprompter. Have one word, one sentence, one image, whatever it is, but do not treat it as a teleprompter. Treat it as a prompt, for you to then riff on.

Jen: Oh, thank the lord that you said this. And also, Pete, I'm realizing your thirteen tips and tricks really do weave together. Because when you are reading directly off of your teleprompter slides, you are not where your feet are. You are in the slide. And then the other piece is, you mentioned that a lot of times the pushback is, "But I need to remember what I need to say," bringing us all the way back to Number One, "Who's it for? What's it for?" The slide is not for you.

Pete: Right. Right.

Jen: You could have notes somewhere that are for you, but the slide is for your audience.

Pete: Yes. Preach, Jen Waldman. Yes, yes, yes.

Jen: Oh my gosh, I'm obsessed with this list. Okay, I have heard you talk about this before, but it is so vital in communicating. In particular, when you are leading a room or in presentation mode, can you please talk us through Number Ten: Be like a comedian.

Pete: Okay. The first thing I will say about this is, I don't mean be really funny.

Jen: Yeah.

Pete: What I meant when I came up with this, "Be like a comedian," is...and I'll articulate it through the lens of, you mentioned Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld has a practice of writing jokes every single day, on a yellow legal pad. He talks about it on many, many podcasts and interviews. And doing so, without a filter of whether they're great jokes or not. So here's a process of writing that he does every day, which then ladders into a process of going to small comedy clubs and practicing jokes and material to get feedback, i.e. do people laugh, to then use to create a bigger production or show or stadium tour that he then goes and delivers or records on Netflix. That, Jerry Seinfeld does not start by practicing in Netflix. He starts by writing on a notepad. And so, the thing that I often experience in running workshops with corporates is people immediately go to their Netflix equivalent. They go, "Okay, I've got a presentation with the CEO next week, so maybe I'll practice being a purple cow." It's like, I mean, you're welcome to find a low stakes way to practice some of these things. In fact, I think you have to find a practice, a process that you have that enables you to get better at the thing, so that when you get to your Netflix equivalent, or a meeting with the CEO or really important board member, you are so well-versed in what you're trying to do or what you're trying to say. The example I used with the group is our podcast. I think of our podcast as a version of my process, my practice, that enables me, when I get in front of two hundred people, to be way better at answering questions, to be way better at speaking off the cuff, to be way better at telling stories, because you and I practice it literally once a week.

Jen: Right.

Pete: So, "Be like a comedian." Have a process. Have a practice. And I mean, you could throw in a joke or two, but that wasn't the intention.

Jen: Can I do an addendum to this?

Pete: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Please.

Jen: Okay. Because when I do work with people who are presenting, I will encourage them to actually get a laugh very quickly, very, very early in the presentation, for two reasons. Number one, you've got to set the tone for what kind of time we're going to be spending together. And very often, in like a corporate presentation situation, that anticipated tone is like dry.

Pete: Yeah. The way, even, people are sitting in their chairs, they're already anticipating what's about to happen.

Jen: Yeah. So, you want to get a laugh. And then the other piece of this, of, "Be like a comedian," is, the reason the comedian works on the jokes is so that people get the jokes.

Pete: Yeah. Right.

Jen: And when you are communicating, you want people to get what you're offering.

Pete: Right. Yeah.

Jen: If you're the only person who understands it, then it's not funny, or it's not relevant, or it's not moving, or whatever you're trying to actually do.

Pete: Right. It doesn't resonate. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Your tip on getting a laugh in the first couple of minutes, I take that so seriously. That's the first thing I try and think about, is, "What's going to be the light-hearted start to this talk or workshop or presentation?" I think that's so important.

Jen: The year 2024 (and maybe the second half of 2023) was really the year of neuroscience and social science-related books being published on the power of humor and comedy. There's so many good ones. I'll drop at least one of them in the Box O' Goodies, if anybody wants to go science-y on humor.

Pete: Oh, you know there's listeners that do.

Jen: Okay, I think we have time for one more.

Pete: We'll squeeze in one more.

Jen: Because you mentioned this as a commentary on, "Be like a comedian," I would love to go backwards to Number Eight and have you explain, "Have a purple cow."

Pete: So this shamelessly borrows from Seth Godin's book that's literally called Purple Cow, in which he puts forward the case to build things, design things, write things, produce things that are worth remarking at, i.e. they're remarkable. And the metaphor of a purple cow, I think, is such a brilliant one. Because if you think about a field of cows, it is filled with white cows, black cows, or black and white cows. And if you were to see, in a field of cows, a purple cow, it would make you stop in your tracks, point, call out, tell a friend, ring someone, recite later to a group of people, "I just saw a purple cow today. You'll never believe what happened to me." And so when I'm thinking about giving a presentation or structuring a communication, I'm often thinking about, "What is my purple cow?" That, especially in a corporate context, people are sitting in meetings day after day after day after day, hour after hour after hour after hour. Some of them are really well-structured and really well-facilitated. Many of them are not, so they all kind of blend into one another, i.e. they're all either black or they're white, like the cow. My belief is, in order for something to be sticky, to be memorable, for you to then tell a colleague about or say, "I really value that thing," there has to be at least one thing, just one thing that is somewhat purple, that makes people go, "Huh. That was very different. I'm going to tell a colleague or a friend or a manager or an employee about that."

Jen: Yeah.

Pete: For example, the example I used...things got really meta because I was, it's like such a strange experience running a workshop on how to run workshops, if you know what I mean, or how I think about running workshops. And so, the thing I used as my example of a purple cow was, "I deliberately don't have a slide deck. I have this flimsy flip chart," which was flimsy, and it was kind of hilarious. But I persisted with it, with my below average handwriting, because my assertion was, "That is memorable. If you are the kind of person that goes to a meeting every single day and there is always, without fail, a PowerPoint presentation, and all of a sudden you go into a learning experience for two hours and there's no PowerPoint presentation, I think that is somewhat purple. Where you go, 'Huh. How is he going to do this? How is he going to teach us anything without a slide deck?'"

Jen: Right.

Pete: '"I'm curious. I'm interested. What could I learn?'" So that's my example, but there are so many. I mean, a purple cow could be a really cool, memorable framework that you come up with. It could be a great question that you asked. It could just be an activity that you did in the session itself. It could be, as someone pointed out, that you, the facilitator, are actually the purple cow in the way that you address or approach the situation. And so all that to say, be remarkable. Create things that are worth actually remarking at. That was the point of that.

Jen: Well, you know what I am hearing in your explanation of the way you are purple in your presentations? That is so authentically Pete Shepherd. It's not like you went out and were like, "What could I do to be purple?" It's like, "What could I do to do things the way that I would do them, instead of the way other people would do them?" So something inherent about having a purple cow is being true to your voice, your style, your taste.

Pete: I love that interpretation. Yeah, I think like we are all somewhat unique. We are all somewhat purple cows. So how do we find that and leverage that?

Jen: There's a great story from a couple years ago...are you familiar with the actor, David Hyde Pierce?

Pete: Yes. Yeah, I know David Hyde Pierce.

Jen: Okay. So I am happy to call him out by name, because this was a very remarkable thing that he did. He was directing a play. And first of all, he attended the first round of auditions, which is like almost unheard of for a director. But beyond that, he got up from behind his table, walked to the door, greeted everyone, shook their hand, led them into the room, and introduced them to everyone else in the room. This was not at an appointment audition. This was like an open call.

Pete: Wow.

Jen: That is purple cow behavior. I am remarking on it years later. And I hear actors still talk about what a special experience it was to feel so valued out of the gate, instead of having to prove yourself first. Go, David Hyde Pierce. If anyone out there knows him, you know, tell him thank you.

Pete: I love that. That's amazing. Also, it doesn't require some new knowledge that you don't have. It's like, that's such a human approach, such a generous approach.

Jen: Right. Yes.

Pete: And yet, so remarkable. Brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant. Love it. Wow.

Jen: Wow, Pete. Some people think thirteen is an unlucky number, but what you have just proven to us today is that thirteen is a very lucky number. These tips for how to become a stronger communicator are so practical, and I hope our listeners decide to put them into practice.

Pete: Me too. Once again, another workshop delivered by me that was inspired by Jen Waldman. And that is The Long and The Short Of It.