The Long and The Short Of It

Episode 382 - What To Do?

Transcript:

Jen: Hello, Peter.

Pete: Hello, Jennifer.

Jen: Well, in a recent episode, I mentioned to you that I was in a sort of mystery land with my lease at my studio. What was going to happen?

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: Well, the mystery has gotten even bigger and it’s really pushed me to have to dig in to tools that I usually share with my clients, about what to do when you don’t know what to do.

Pete: I mean, what else is there to say other than This is The Long and The Short Of It.

Pete: What's the latest?

Jen: Okay, so as a refresher, in our episode titled 2026, I mentioned that I had been, for four months, trying to get my landlord to extend my lease, which is up this fall at the studio. And I'd been getting the runaround, and I didn't understand why. Well, Peter, four days ago, I got an email from the building management letting me know that the building has filed for bankruptcy.

Pete: Oh my god.

Jen: That's why they haven't returned my emails. And that, there's going to be major change. There will be a new owner. The hope is that the new owner will honor the previous leases.

Pete: But we don't know.

Jen: Yeah. So I'm just like, what the heck is happening? So I see before me, I have several possible outcomes here, none of which I have control over. So, I need to be prepared to receive any of them.

Pete: Oh, how does that feel? So much ambiguity.

Jen: Oh my gosh, this is why I need to talk through it. And listeners, I'm going to try not to make this a therapy session. But there's been a lot of ahas in trying to figure out how to unpack this. So my scenarios that could become a reality are: The owner that is going to be taking over the building may decide not to honor any of the leases, and I could be out who knows when. The owner might decide to honor the current leases, but not agree to extend my lease, in which case I would be out at the end of September. Or (and I think this is probably the least likely scenario) the new owner says, "Not only will we honor your previous lease, but we'll extend it with the exact terms that you are asking for." So this has left me in a state of, what do you do when you don't know what's coming and you're not exactly sure what you want to do about it?

Pete: So the question back to you then is, what do you do when you don't know what's coming?

Jen: Right? So one of the things I've been thinking about is when I am working with clients on negotiating, I make sure they understand the principle of having a BATNA, a best alternative to a negotiated agreement. So if you're trying to reach an agreement and it doesn't end up coming to fruition, what is your best alternative? So, I've been thinking of this as best alternative to a studio...BATS.

Pete: I love it. We've got a new acronym, everybody. BATS.

Jen: Best alternative to a studio. And this has forced me into using a lot of the tools I use with my clients, and that you and I use with each other. For example, we've done episodes about brainstorming, like how to actually get creative ideas flowing. So I've been doing some brainstorming exercises, where I'll set a timer and just come up with as many ideas as I can possibly come up with, like what else could I do if I did not have the physical space? And the goal is to get as many ideas on the table as possible in the allotted time, even if they're outrageous, even if they're zany, even if they're unrealistic, because bad ideas lead to good ideas. So, I've been doing a bunch of that.

Pete: Yeah. I mean, I feel like especially if they're outrageous, especially if they're zany. Because like you said, you get all these possibilities out there and you start to see things a little differently.

Jen: Yep. So, I've been using that. I feel like this is going to become an episode where there's just a gigantic Box O' Goodies of previous episodes.

Pete: It's a recap, yeah. But it's good because we have, I mean, gosh, we have so many episodes. I mean, sometimes we're recording episodes recently and I go, "I should go back and listen to Episode 104 because I think we talked about this, and it probably solves the problem that I'm trying to solve right now." So, it's a refresher. It's good. They should be timeless.

Jen: Another thing I've been playing around with is when this first came to my attention, I felt my mind going to doomsday scenario. That like, "This is the worst case scenario. This could not be worse." And so, what I've been trying to do is play with a total mindset shift and ask myself, "What if this is actually the best case scenario?"

Pete: Nice.

Jen: Like, "What if somehow fate is stepping in and showing me something even better than I would have been able to envision for myself, if I hadn't faced this challenge?"

Pete: Chef's kiss. I mean, can we just talk about the power of just reframing things for a second? It is so underrated, so underutilized, and so powerful at changing the way we can think about things. Just because our immediate thought is, "This is the worst possible thing that can happen," doesn't actually mean that's true, and that we have the ability to choose a different path. Like there's a mindfulness strategy in that, to go, "No, I'm not going to deal with that thought. I'm going to put that thought aside. I'm going to acknowledge it. I'm going to see it. I'm going to choose a different one. I'm going to choose a thought of, how could this be the best possible thing that's happened to me?"

Jen: Yep. So I've been playing around with that, actually with a bunch of mindset tools, another which is my fear to faith exercise. I name what I am afraid of, and then find an alternative faith statement. "I'm afraid that without a physical space, my identity will be shaken. I have faith that I know who I am and my clients know who I am and what I stand for." Or, "I'm afraid that I'm not ready for a change of this size. Well, I have faith in my ability to navigate change. In two weeks in March of 2020, I built an entirely new business. So, I actually do have faith in myself to make changes." So, that has also been helpful.

Pete: Not only that, but you also came up with one of the most downloaded episodes of our podcast, I believe it was called Pivot with Purpose. It got shared by Simon Sinek and ended up with thousands upon thousands upon thousands of downloads. So yeah, I think you got this.

Jen: Yep. And then, I mentioned this a bit in our 2026 episode but I've really been having to dig deeper on it, which is like, "What am I actually trying to do with the work I'm doing? What is behind it all? What is the why? What is the motivation? What's the purpose? And the vision?" And I'm having to like really confront myself and get real. And I've taken my own advice and put some time in my calendar over the next couple weeks to dig on these questions. And I've given myself a deadline for making some decisions about what's next.

Pete: Nice. Yeah. It's like, "What is Jen Waldman for? What is a studio for? What is teaching artists for? I want to go back to first principles. What are these things actually for?" And is the process, not to get too in the weeds, but for you, is the process like, "I sit down with a coffee and a notepad and a pen," or like how do you go about answering and tackling some of these things?

Jen: Well, unfortunately, it's really cold in New York right now. But my process is going to be, yes, I'm going to sit down with a pen and paper, but I do my best thinking when I'm moving.

Pete: Right. I thought so. Walking.

Jen: Yep. So, I'm going to go for some long walks in the neighborhood in which I live and also around the studio neighborhood. Because in both locations, I am able to then duck inside, have a cup of tea, maybe do some writing, some whiteboarding, and then get back out on the mean streets of New York.

Pete: So, you're just walking and thinking about the question in your head.

Jen: Well, I'm actually talking out loud.

Pete: Talking. You're still doing that. Great. Listeners that don't know, once upon a time, Jen had a second podcast idea that we were going to release, which was Jen's Subway Thoughts.

Jen: Yep.

Pete: Because she used to distill an idea between the subway station and her old studio, based on a podcast or a book that she just listened to on the subway.

Jen: Yeah. That's right. Well, you know, what's really interesting with my subway thoughts lately, I still use a transcription app but now there are tools like ChatGPT, as an example, where I can load the transcript and say, "What am I actually saying? Distill it down into three sentences. What am I trying to tell myself?"

Pete: Nice. So, this is great. This is a process for you trying to navigate what is a great unknown.

Jen: Yeah. And you know, it's funny, Pete, because I had always thought that I would keep this studio space until October 1st, 2028, which would be when this two-year extension on my lease would end, because my daughter will be going to school in the fall of 2028, school meaning college. And I thought, "Oh, well, I don't have to be in New York all the time, once she goes to school. At that point, I will be ready to make a change." Like, I knew that a change was coming. I just had no idea it was coming this fast.

Pete: Right. Yeah. The universe just said, "Well, you deal with that a little bit sooner."

Jen: Yeah.

Pete: That's funny. Yeah. I mean, this feels like an important episode on challenging assumptions, like challenging the obvious assumptions. I think it would be so easy for someone in your position to go, "I have to have a studio because my company is called Jen Waldman Studio." So, the obvious assumption is there's a studio. But what you're doing is so admirable, and I think so transferable to all of us, to go, "What are the really, really obvious things that you just assume need to happen or be true or to be consistent, that you could challenge? Do you need a studio? Do you need an office? Do you need to live in a certain part of the world? Do you need to have a certain, I don't know, nighttime routine or morning routine or whatever?" There's so many things, so many sort of unspoken rules that we've all adopted. What does it look like to challenge some of these? I mean, this is one of the reasons I love...my favorite provocative thinker in this sense is Derek Sivers, because he challenges obvious assumptions to the point of getting rid of his US citizenship. Talk about challenging standards and norms and assumptions. I love the way he thinks, because he does so many things that are against the status quo and that suit his life based on how he wants to live. And sort of, he gives you freedom to do the same, which I feel like you're doing as well.

Jen: Hmm. Well, I keep hearing your voice ringing in my head because, gosh, maybe it was even as much as a year ago, I remember you talking about polling some people you were working with about the most important qualities they want in their leadership. And one of those qualities was the ability to navigate through uncertainty.

Pete: Yeah.

Jen: And so, I keep telling myself that that's what I'm doing right now. I have an entire community of people who are going to want some sense of confidence and leadership as we make this change. And I have no idea what's happening, but being able to navigate through that is part of what will help build confidence.

Pete: Yeah, that's right. I think it was actually twelve months almost to the day where Marie Schacht and I, in collaboration with Akimbo, ran the Real Skills Conference again. And we did poll, "What do you think is the most important skill of 2025?" And you're right. The answer that came out was navigating uncertainty and change. And since then, I feel like the skill is just as important as ever. And I almost wonder if the second part of the sentence is irrelevant, that it's kind of just navigating is the skill.

Jen: Right.

Pete: Because change and uncertainty is just constant. You know? Like, there's just constantly change and uncertainty. And so, is the skill navigating uncertainty versus navigating certainty? I don't think so. I think it might just be navigating.

Jen: What I am fascinated to learn moving forward is, in what I have deemed the unlikeliest scenario, that this new building owner is like, "You can have exactly the lease you want for the amount of time that you want it," after having done all of the work to investigate what my options are, am I going to want it?

Pete: That's so funny you say that, because one of the things in my head was...maybe this will come with the process, but like right now, is there one of the three where you go, "Oh, that's kind of the one I lean towards." Or have you not even given yourself permission to go there yet?

Jen: I don't know if I've fully gone there yet. I think my system is still in shock. When this letter came through from the building management, it opened with like, "Beloved tenants...". And then, it said something like, "I'm sure you're all wondering what's going on. We know there's a lot of rumbling and rumors in the building." And I'm like, "What are you talking about? I have not heard a rumbling. I have not heard a rumor. I don't know what this email is about." And then, it was like, "It's true. We just filed for bankruptcy." I mean, I think I gasped out loud while I was reading it. I did not see that one coming. Sometimes, life throws you curve balls.

Pete: Sure does. I think that comment of yours is funny and feels true of many things, where we might reframe our way to going, "This could be the best possible thing that happens." And then, the status quo is presented in front of you. "Okay, you can just keep going as you're going." And you go, "Oh, but I just got so excited about things being totally different. What do I do now?"

Jen: Right. It's making me consider like, "What does a partnership look like? What does a mobile studio look like? What does an entirely online studio look like? What does it look like if I don't do group classes ever again? I had never considered that. What if everything becomes private coaching? What if I take a couple of months in London and go work there?" Like, it could be anything. I just, I don't know.

Pete: Yes. Or Australia, you know.

Jen: Yep.

Pete: Australia's cool. Just throwing it out there. Well, this is exciting for you, personally. This is exciting for the studio and the community. But it's also a really healthy reminder. At least, I'm taking this as a healthy reminder to rethink assumptions that you hold true, to reconsider how things that are on the surface seemingly bad might actually be good, and to challenge yourself, to challenge these things by asking questions like, "What is this actually for? What if this is the best possible thing that happens," and to think with intention about how you might navigate uncertainty. Because all we have right now seems to be uncertainty.

Jen: And Pete, I was hoping I could ask you a favor as we wrap up.

Pete: Oh my god, please.

Jen: Once upon a time, I asked you to ask me questions so that I could make some decisions about the next direction I was going to take the studio. Which, you did. You asked me really one question. It was very profound to me and really, really helped. So, I'm hoping you can leave me with a question you'd like to see me answer as I investigate what the next chapter is going to be.

Pete: Alright, let's see what I've got. I think possibilities, constraints, and these three options aside, what does success look like for Jen Waldman and Jen Waldman Studio? That feels like the question I want to hear you answer. Because that feels like the filtering mechanism for all of the other questions that follow.

Jen: What does success look like? Of course, the irony is that's how I begin every coaching session with a client. So, thank you for asking me to take a dose of my own medicine. And that is The Long and The Short Of It.