The Long and The Short Of It

Episode 389 - Aspirational Prototyping

Transcript:

Jen: Hello, Peter.

Pete: Hello, Jennifer.

Jen: Well, I've made up a phrase for something, which you know is one of my favorite pastimes.

Pete: I mean, it's been at least four weeks since you made up a phrase, so you were due.

Jen: And I'm excited to share this one with you. Because it like, it really tickles me so.

Pete: Okay.

Jen: The phrase is "aspirational prototyping".

Pete: "Aspirational prototyping." Listeners, I wish you could see the smile on Jen's face right now. I have no idea what this means, but this is The Long and The Short Of It.

Jen: I'm laughing, Pete, because the string of logic I'm about to lay out for you is basically me in a nutshell. So, enjoy.

Pete: Okay.

Jen: So at this time of year that we are recording this, it is a very chaotic, extremely busy, everything is urgent all the time, you're constantly putting out fires, time in our theater industry. It is just insane. Which, side note, I have a mantra for myself moving forward, is, "Don't make promises in January and February. Because I just can't keep them, because it's so busy." Anyway, we're recording this in February. So I was like, "I want to do something for the artist community that I work with, that gives them a break from the day-to-day, in the weeds, being very pragmatic, being very realistic all the time. And I think I'm going to call the theme of this 'dream big', and like really connect with your imagination and your aspirations and your inspirations and your dreams." And then, the part of me that tends to reject things that are woo-woo, I was like, "Well, Jen, if you turned this around and someone said to you, 'Would you like to participate in a month of dreaming big,' I'd be like, 'No.'"

Pete: That is a very Jen Waldman response. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jen: So I was like, "Okay, okay, okay. So, some people are going to like dream big. But what I have to do is come up with something that would attract the people who question everything, like I do." And so, what I came up with is aspirational prototyping, also known as dreaming big.

Pete: AP, aspirational prototyping. Wow. They're two words that I didn't think I'd ever see next to each other.

Jen: Right?

Pete: So, why does this appeal to you more than dream big? Tell me more.

Jen: Because I'm like, "Oh, I understand prototyping."

Pete: Right. And, "I understand being aspirational."

Jen: So basically, the exercises that I'm doing with the artist community, I think, translate to any other industry. And basically, what we're doing is pulling data from our dreams.

Pete: Okay.

Jen: So, as an example...and I do this with clients a lot, when they're like, "I just don't have enough hours in the day to do the things I want to do," or, "I'm so burnt out because I'm working so frequently, and I'm like, 'Ah, will I never have a moment to rest? Will I never take a vacation? When am I ever going to see my family?'" Like, they're just really stressed out about time. And so, sometimes, I get very practical. And I'm like, "Show me your Google Calendar. Let me see what things are. And maybe I can spot things that you can't spot, because you're too close to it." But sometimes, I'll say, "Can you just make me a dream calendar? Like, if you could do whatever you wanted with your time at this time of year, what would your dream week look like?" And someone will share with me the dream week. And then, we're basically able to go, "Okay, well, given the current circumstances, that might not be realistic. That's aspirational. But you've basically laid out a prototypical calendar for yourself. How can we now go back to this moment in time and make a choice that brings you just one inch closer to this thing that feels so far away from you?" So like, in the example of someone showing me the dream calendar, it might say, "I meditate for an hour every morning. And then, I start my day." And it's like, "Okay, well, you might not be able to do that. But can you decide, you know, you have a subway commute that's twenty minutes. Can you meditate on the subway? That gets you one inch closer to having a meditation practice, which is really one of the things that you're seeking, is a self-care practice."

Pete: Yeah. Ooh, I like it. So, it feels like a practical way to head towards some version of the future that we would like to see ourselves in. And the reason I like that it's practical is because I feel like people's big dreams or prototype aspirations can feel unpractical, unachievable, can feel almost nebulous. Like, "Dream big. Oh, I don't know. I want to be a star in this show. And that would mean that I'm doing these kinds of things." And it's like, I mean, that's so...I can't grab on to anything there. What does it actually look like? So the prompt to make it practical by saying, "Tell me your perfect week, or your dream week," you didn't say perfect, I did. I think even just that process alone forces you to think about and write down or say out loud, what is it actually that we're seeking? And in that example like you shared with the meditation, the thing I immediately go to is I would bet that if people did this, they would realize that more of it is within their grasp than they think. I've seen an activity done before which is similar, where it's like, "Describe your perfect day." And I've actually done this on a podcast with a friend of mine, Josh Janssen, way back in the day during COVID. And we kind of shared our perfect days, and it was all kind of whimsical and in jest. But one of the things I thought about afterwards was, that's the sort of thing that you could do tomorrow. It was like, "The sun's shining, and I went for a morning swim. And then, after my morning swim, I did a workout, and caught up, and had a coffee with a friend. And then, I did some really great work that I was inspired about," and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, "Oh, that's not that unattainable actually. You know, we know where beaches are. If the sun's shining, you could take yourself and have a swim." I feel like we make these things feel more unattainable than perhaps they are. "I'll never meditate for an hour because I'll never have the time." It's like, "Yeah. But where do you have ten minutes in your day, like the subway commute? That actually, you could be the kind of person who does meditate for ten minutes today."

Jen: Right.

Pete: So, I almost want to say that these big dreams can be hiding spots. In fact, I don't almost want to say it. I do want to say that we hide in big audacious dreams, that we take ourselves off the hook for doing something to get towards, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

Jen: Yeah. So I used this calendar time management thing as an example, but one of the other ways we've looked at this is a lot of my clients are either looking for an agent or manager or in a relationship with an agent or manager. And so, one of the prototypes has been to create the dream description of the ideal agent or manager, like to write the dream job listing that if someone read this, the magical human would appear and be like, "I'm here to fulfill this obligation." So it's like, "The dream agent is someone who sees me for who I am, who understands the career I'm seeking to build, is a great communicator, loves it when I drop in to the office to say hi, goes to see a Broadway show and then sends me a text saying, 'Hey, saw this show tonight and it made me think of you.'" They describe all of this. And then, it helps illuminate first, "What is missing from the current moment?" Where it's like, "Oh, I keep talking about communication. I thought it was that my agent wasn't getting me enough auditions. But it's actually, I don't feel communicated with enough to know what's going on in my own career. Oh, that's interesting." But then, it also helps you see the areas where you could put yourself on the hook. Now, you can't be on the hook for everything. But you can be on the hook for something.

Pete: Yeah. There's things within that, I'm sure, that you go, "Oh, actually, I could control that. I mean, I could share with my agent," I don't know, "in this example, 'This is how I like to be communicated to. I really like to have certain types of feedback after certain types of auditions.'" I don't know the relationship anywhere near as well as you do. But I know how leaders work with teams and individuals. And I am often encouraging individuals and leaders to say to their leader or manager, "This is how I like to be communicated to. This is how I'd love to get feedback. This is what a successful meeting would look like for me." You can help your leader lead you better by telling them what works for you.

Jen: Exactly. Now, what we did, Pete, is we went into breakout rooms. And I assigned the groups different (we call them the six points of focus) areas of focus. And I asked them to come up with as many aspirational prototypes as possible, to put on a menu. And there are dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of things that people came up with. It really was kind of wild. And basically, the task for this month is each week, they're picking something from the menu, dreaming big about it, and then, bringing it back to the current moment and picking one small step that they can take to get one inch closer. And people seemed kind of fired up about it.

Pete: I love this. I mean, it reminds me of, have we talked...we must have, at some point, talked about the Debbie Millman Ten-Year Plan for a Remarkable Life.

Jen: I feel like I've heard you say those words before, but please remind me.

Pete: My gosh, I'm going to put so many links to this in the Box O' Goodies. This is probably the single most impactful riff I've ever heard on a podcast, and I don't say that lightly.

Jen: Woah.

Pete: It was Debbie Millman on the Tim Ferriss podcast, in...I'd have to look it up, but it would be something like 2010. Like, it was so long ago in my mind. And she goes on this riff to describe this exercise, which she calls The Ten-Year Plan. And my absolute paraphrased version of this is you sit down and you write about a day in your life, ten years from now. And you write it from the second you woke up to the second you went to bed. And you describe it in as much detail, with as much audacity and aspiration, as you possibly can. And she talks about dreaming big as if your life depends on it, because it does. And she said she does this exercise with her students at one of the universities that she teaches at, the name of which is escaping me. And the impact, the result has like blown her mind. Where she has year after year, student after student saying, "Do you know that ten-year plan that we did? We're five years in, and I just re-read it, and I realized I've done everything on there," or, "The day that I had yesterday was the same day that I wrote down." She said there's some magical quality to it. And she's not necessarily woo-woo, but she's just like, "It's an exercise worth doing, because the impact is remarkable." (Hence the title.) She's since turned it into a product. There's like a deck of cards that you can do, which I have and I encourage people to do. Again, I'll link to it all in the Box O' Goodies. But the point is, what does it look like to write down these aspirations, these dreams, in a ten-year timeframe? And I think your point is, then, "What does it look like to get practical, as a result of that?" But her point is, "Just write it down in the first place."

Jen: Yeah. Well, the idea of writing it down is actually one of the small things you can do to bring yourself one inch closer.

Pete: Right. And then, she actually says, "Read it once a year." So, I guess that's another way you could remind yourself.

Jen: I love it.

Pete: I mean, I literally have mine in my sock drawer. I still have it. I still have it, and I try and read it once a year. And yeah, it's wild.

Jen: Is there any significance to the sock drawer?

Pete: No. No, there's really not. Other than, if it's in there, I thought I would be more inclined to read it once a year, because I go to my sock drawer every day.

Jen: Oh, that's smart. I love that. I've mentioned on recent episodes that the space that houses my studio is very up in the air, because the building filed for bankruptcy, blah, blah, blah. I still have no idea what's going on. And I'm planning to use this exercise of aspirational prototyping for myself this month, so that I can really give myself permission to dream big about all the possibilities. "Who are the ideal clients? What is the ideal scenario? If this was the greatest studio in all the land, what would it look like? Feel like? Who would be there? What would we be doing?"

Pete: Yes. I was going to ask if you have certain prompts or parameters for this, but I feel like you just gave some. And it sounds similar to how Debbie describes it. You're suggesting to be as vivid and detailed as possible.

Jen: Yes, exactly. It pings off of a framework...I can't remember if I've ever shared it on this podcast...that I call the RBI.

Pete: Ah, you have no idea how often I use this framework with leaders.

Jen: Oh.

Pete: And people freaking love it. I literally, yesterday, was whiteboarding a workshop I have coming up on Friday. And I was like, "How could I approach this? How could I approach this?" Blah, blah, blah. And after fifteen minutes of whiteboarding, I was like, "Oh, I need to introduce them to RBI." And I wrote out how I was going to frame RBI. Yeah. So please, enlighten us again.

Jen: Oh my gosh, okay. So listeners who are baseball fans, this does not stand for Runs Batted In.

Pete: And Australians are like, what?

Jen: It's what I call the realist idealist framework. So the realist is the person standing right where you're standing right now, looking around and going like, "This is the reality of the situation." And I say, "Even scan the horizon for things that make you irritated, piss you off, fire you up." And then, the idealist is the version of you that can see an idealistic world, where all the problems that you're currently seeing are solved, where all the annoyances have been taken care of, where all things are all good all the time. And then the B, which goes between the R and the I, is for better. Build the better bridge. So as a realist, take stock of what's around you. As an idealist, see the world how it could be. And then, the call to action is to build the better bridge. Or in the aspirational prototyping language, take an action that brings you one inch closer.

Pete: I love it so much. It's funny hearing you re-describe it. I'm realizing, I've like taken a bit of it in my own sort of direction and like riffed on it a little bit.

Jen: Great. I love that.

Pete: But the same rule applies, yeah. I've thought about it as, "Here is reality. Here is real. Here is where you stand now. Can you describe ideal? Can you describe what success looks like? Can you describe what it looks like to be in the other side of this problem? And then, what is the bridge to get from where you are now to that ideal?" That's how I've thought about it. I haven't necessarily talked about better, but I quite like that framing.

Jen: I love it.

Pete: RBI. Okay, well, aspirational prototyping. I feel inspired to do some of this myself. I'm going to take myself to a coffee shop with a notepad and see if I might dream up, "What does success look like for my business? And what are the types of things I want to prototype, and do so with aspiration? And then, how might I take steps towards them today, tomorrow, and maybe even the next day?"

Jen: And that is The Long and The Short Of It.